Lord of the Rings kind of made the mid-evel times look dorky and shit.  Then came Game of Thrones, which came packaged with Emilia Clarke, and now the mid-evel times is cool as fuck.  The former (Lord of the Rings), made me never want to go back to that time period, with all their pedophile-looking wizards, acne-covered pro-activ resistant midgets, giant eyeballs on tower shits, and other crazy shit like that.  The latter (Game of Thrones), makes the setting much more UniquePiss.com oriented, which includes killing random shit with swords and then hooking up with smoking hott light blondes. Plus, no flirting, no buying, no woo-ing, no hearing stories about the co-worker she hates, just kill shit and make out. Simple. That is, the good life.

Yeah yeah, i’m already hearing it.  Just STFU and hear me out, there’s something sexy about this female, Jenne Lombardo.  Not a female typical of a pin up or in this year’s Sport Illustrated, but that “punch you in the face, kick you in the ball sack, and steal your Honda Accord (not because I need one, but because i’m angry as fuck and have a shit-load of money for a non-retard Yale grad lawyer)” appeal, is kind of, kinda fucking bad ass and intriguing.  More examples, grand example of mohawks and female aweseomess, Kacey (from Bad Boy or some shit like that).  Point proven, sexy as fuck.

Hater – someone who’s not smashing Brooklyn Decker and not appreciative of Andy Roddick’s past tennis talent, but instead consistently enjoys pointing out that Andy Roddick currently sucks ass just to be spiteful and because Andy is smashing Brooklyn Decker.

The rest of the world and I ≥ Hater .

The state budget is in shambles, highest unemployment and foreclosures in the United States, etc etc.  So why would you go to Cali?  The answer is above and that is only one of the many, many similar answers contained in the ,”who gives a shit that the state is falling apart, we got hot ass weather and surfer chicks”, state of California.  I think what California needs is group / alliance of hott Cali girls ruling the state with an iron fist.  Think about it, dudes in the Assembly wouldn’t be able to argue or say no against a pretty smile, they could cut all types of unnecessary services and would leave everyone defenseless against “the smile”.  Get shit done.  Plus, anything would be better than the Terminator.  Whatever the case, Primitive LA is using this model for an upcoming line and provided a sample photo-shoot of bad ass Alexis Lopez.  If I must repeat to make this point clear, chick is fucking bad ass.  Viva Latin America.

So a day passes.  A day after being ear-raped by Fergie’s awesomely you-definitely-have-an-adam’s-apple voice for the SuperBowl halftime show, I definitely felt things we’re going down hill from here on.  No more football, cold ass weather, Egyptians killing shit, fat chicks not staying in the bicycle lane and walking all over the place, etc etc; things looked beyond bleak.  Then.  Then Nike releases this super bad-ass jacket for Troy Polamalu.  True, Steelers lost, true.  BUT, who cares about winning some trophy when you can rock a sick ass Nike Destroyer jacket to commemorate your loss, or in this case, a win, for cool ass-ness.  I don’t have to do much explaining of what the jacket is made of and all that jibber jabber because these pictures do most of the talking, but I do know you can’t exactly buy Polamalu’s jacket, but you can make your own for around 300 beans USD.  Whatever, I’m down.

check out Nike Sportswear 21 Mercer to see Polamalu’s jacket

Pictures VIA freshnessmag

http://www.freshnessmag.com/2011/02/06/nike-sportswear-destroy-with-speed-custom-super-bowl-xlv-destroyer-jacket/

SKIP TO AROUND 2:00 MINUTES

Nowadays, it seems that kids just get older so much faster.  I still remember being a whiny bitch ass kid who just played Sega or SNES and basketball with homeys from around the way.  A few fights here and there and then getting my ass whupped unmercilessly by my mom,  but so it seems, kids have really stepped up their game.  Fuck playing video games or team sports, kids are now storing 8-balls of coke in between their bookshelves, hiding guns in their pillows and jewelry boxes, assassinating rival politicians, hiding Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, blowing up unjustly priced Chucky Cheeses and shit, not sharing their decent quality cocaine with their older brothers, etc etc.  Much thanks to Senator Eric Adams, for exposing real everyday issues to New Yorkers.  Screw wasting time on the budget and health care, those bullshit ass issues.

There’s a lot of perks to being one of the lords of fashion.  1. You make a shit load of money.  2. You wake up and do whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want. 3. You get to bang out whoever the fuck you want, without the need to spend money or workout in a gym to appear non-slobbish. AND last, but not least 4. You get to have a huge personal fucking garage filled with shit that Mussolini or Winston fucking Churchill probably drove around in.  Cars, that if you choose, can drive in, bang fellow celebrities in, burp and fart in (because you’re the man and you can do that shit), crash into endangered species or desperate fashion interns, etc etc.  Life is awesome when you’re the man aka Ralph Lauren.

Pictures VIA Vanity Fair and Materialiste

http://www.vanityfair.com/style/features/2011/01/ralph-lauren-garage-slide-show-201101#slide=1

Now convince me why you wouldn’t want to play for Miami.  The formula was simple, have hot ass team cheerleaders and nice ass weather, and in return, get star players to play for your team.  Simple.  Anyway, today’s Lebron reunion is going to be insane.  Filled with fanatically angry Cleveland fans, general LeBreezy haters, and other talk-shit critics who are going to be meticulously watching or attending the game, praying for slip ups.  You got this, do your thing LeBreezy. 

TNT channel @ 8PM 12/02/2010